DAILY DOSE OF HOPE – BLOG – NAIMA LETT
Adventures in LaLa Land – Theft Chronicles
© NaimaLett.com/blog

Never a dull moment, Fam.

So, yesterday, we had another Adventure in LaLa Land!
Let’s call this one ‘The Theft Chronicles’.

When we arrive at the Center we rent for service, we realize we are not alone.
We walk in to find we already have a visitor. Most times, we’re excited to have folks visit church (YAY!), but this visitor is different. He is taking stuff… that isn’t his.

It takes me a minute to figure it out.

At first, I think he could be from the Center. But when I ask who he is, he says he’s with H0PE FOR THE HILLS. We’re actually H0PE IN THE HILLS, but no biggie. Only thing is he hasn’t been with our group. We’ve never met him before. So I ask more questions.

He talks of religious ritual and is dressed in Jewish ceremonial attire on the top and pajama pants on the bottom. Again, no biggie. Pajama pants are fashionable in LaLa Land. I see people in pajamas all the time – at the grocery store, airport, movie screenings. Pajama bottoms and Crocs. No lie. I don’t run errands in my PJs, but hey, to each his own.

Our visitor says that he is with Hope for the Hills and they are going hiking. We definitely aren’t hiking. But it looks like he’s packing bags for the trip. He has everything in the kitchen pulled out the cabinets – coffee, food, cutlery – all on the counters, all on the floor.

That’s the tip off.
This joker is cleaning house.

“I hear what you’re saying, but it looks like you’re packing items that don’t belong to you. I’m just trying to figure out if you’re telling me the truth,” I walk closer.

“Nobody tells the truth but Moses,” he replies.

Wrong answer.
Is it me, Fam, or does that sound like he just admitted to lying?

C’Mon Vogue

I hold my phone up to take a picture of this bizarre scene.
He stops maneuvering and smiles.

No he didn’t just pose for a picture with stolen items in hand? What is this? Vogue?
Only in the LaLa.

Step Away

At this point, my husband enters the scene. Later, he recounts that he heard my decibels gradually increasing and came around the corner to see what is going on with his wife. He sees her having an intense conversation with a stranger in pajama pants.

“Can you step over there? I’ll take care of this,” Kevin moves me over.
“I have nothing to say to you,” our intelligent con notifies my husband.

Other leaders have arrived. We ask our visitor to leave the fancy Torah he’s stealing and items in his bag that do not belong to him. He says he’s in a program with the LAPD and hurries out the front door (we find out later someone at the Center has accidentally left the door unlocked). He sits outside, but starts to get belligerent with us as we simply keep a watch out as onlookers pass by.

“Leave! You’re bothering me. Leave!” He yells.
“I can stand on the street!” I shoot back.

My husband dials 911, but I know if he’s routed through LA, it’ll take forever. When someone had slammed into my car and kept going (hit-and-run) a couple of years ago, and I called 911, I was routed to LAPD and they arrived 4 hours later.

So, I dial the Beverly Hills cops directly.
“I’d like to report a theft.”

On the Move

That’s when Mr. Catch-Me-If-You-Can takes off.

“He’s now on the move up Beverly,” I notify dispatch.

The dispatcher is talking to the cops looking for him and talking to me at the same time, so I stay on the phone with her and try to relay his whereabouts. He dips into a coffee shop where the police pull him aside for questioning.

“I plead the fifth,” he says.

The police do a thorough investigation. They try to interview him. They interview us. They talk with a representative from the Center. The items are identified as belonging to the Center and their representative agrees that the intruder should be arrested.

I probably would’ve asked, “The Center has its items back. Does he need to be arrested?” But I also understand the Center’s position. They have no idea how long he’d been on their property that day and if other items had been removed.

Could’ve Been so Different

“Wow. This could’ve gone down so differently,” I think to myself.

If he’s homeless or in need, why couldn’t he just say so and we could’ve offered help? Why try to steal property that doesn’t belong to you, especially after you’ve been given every opportunity to just leave innocently?

I am a little saddened by the course of events. I think of Luke 6:27-31 where Jesus says “If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

Is there any way to apply this passage to this situation?

Those aren’t my belongings to allow him to take. Everything he took belonged to the Center, not us. We just happened to be the stewards of the space at that hour. I so wish he had cooperated and left the stuff. Is it really worth going to jail over material gain? I was most troubled by the dishonesty, but I kept trying to give him an opportunity to come clean and express his real needs. Instead, he went all TNT-Leverage on us.

Academy Award Performance

As he’s being placed under arrest, that’s when the real theatrics begin. It starts with a cough. Then more coughs. He rocks back and forth toward the police car and it looks like he’s intentionally hitting his head on the outside of the car. Is he trying to bruise himself?

The coughs turns into yells.
“You’re killing me! You’re killing me!” he screams.
“Really?” the cop responds calmly.

We can all see that no one is killing anyone. Everyone is cool and calm and normal except our Academy Award performer. Does this stuff really work?

Whatever empathy I had kind of went out the window at that point. Not only have you lied to us, now you’re lying on law enforcement who’ve been nothing but professional and gracious. I didn’t believe for one second he was mentally disturbed. When I spoke with him, he was intelligent and clear and crisp. He thought fast on his feet. The entire morning had been one of deception.

All She Wrote

We return to church. We pray for our visitor. We pray for the Center. We pray for our community. We pray for those in need. We pray for the lost. We pray to be able to respond as Christ would in every situation. We pray to know when to give our cloak and when to call the cops. We pray for our law enforcement. We pray for everyone’s safety. We thank God that no one has been harmed… except maybe our visitor who purposefully hit his head on the car.

So that’s our latest adventure in the LaLa.
That’s all she wrote!
Hopefully your Sunday was less eventful, but worshipful none-the-less.

A little word of advice though: If you trespass on someone else’s property and decide to steal, if you’re caught in the act, it may not be the best decision to stop and pose for pictures. Just saying.

Onward & upward,
Naima

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