DAILY DOSE OF HOPE – BLOG – NAIMA LETT
Fellas, Don’t Buy Us Roses?
© NaimaLett.com/blog

Skip to 02:50 for song, © Tamia

Yesterday…
on the way to our 1st Hope in the Hills Community Group hosted by Bobby & Teka Perry, my husband Kevin and I turned on the radio and heard the soulful sounds of 6-time Grammy-nominated R&B/gospel singer Tamia (pictured above), who is the wife of basketball superstar Grant Hill. These are the lyrics that we heard:

Don’t Buy Me Roses

So don’t bring me roses, bring me the truth
Don’t buy me diamonds ’cause that just won’t do
Material things I could buy myself if I really want to
I need something special, I need something new
Just give me you…

Don’t Listen to Her

I kindly turned to the love of my life, my husband of almost 12 years, who I have known since I was an 18-year old freshman at Howard University and said, “Don’t listen to her.”

Then we both burst out laughing.

Here’s Why

My love language is giving/receiving gifts.

When Kevin proposed to me, he planned a marathon day of beautiful gifts that included a dozen fuchsia roses. They were absolutely breathtaking. I carried those roses cross-country on the plane and kept them alive for another week, doting on how much this man loved me.

Then, when we were engaged, Kevin braved ice and snow and found exquisite lilac roses for my birthday. When he brought them to my office, I melted. That ministered love to me on such a deep and visceral level that if we had not made a promise to one another to wait to have sex until after we were married, it would’ve been on.

It’s the Thought

I am not a materialistic person. I’m not that chic that has to have a whole bunch of stuff to be happy in this world. We’ve had much. We’ve had nothing. I’ve learned contentment. Anyone who knows me well knows that I give 200 times more than my expectation of return.

That being said, what communicates love to me most is when someone takes the time to know me well enough to gift something meaningful to me. It doesn’t have to cost a dime. Money is not the issue. It’s the thought behind it. That’s how I treat others. You know?

Love Language

With over 35-years of marriage counseling and pastoral experience and 45 years of marriage, Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a series on Five Love Languages. The premise is that couples who choose to communicate love in the way that their partner best receives it tend to have healthier relationships.

Jesus put it like this, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13. In other words, true love requires sacrifice for one another. I choose to speak Kevin’s language to him. He chooses to speak my language to me. Get it?

Chapman says the five most prominent languages through which we receive love are by words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

When we first got married, I kept gifting Kevin and becoming disappointed because it didn’t mean as much to him as it did to me. Then we realized gifts was not his language. I had to learn to speak in his language in order for him to understand how much I loved him.

Don’t Buy Us Roses?

There is no one-size-fits-all approach here.

Love Tamia, but don’t listen to her and stop buying roses if that’s how your lady receives your love. You aren’t married to Tamia. Grant Hill is. And Tamia has just told the entire world that what she needs most from Grant is quality time. So, let Grant and Tamia have all the quality time in the world. On the other hand, let us find out what languages our loved ones speak and become fluent in those! Just saying!

What’s your love language?
Discover it here: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/.

Becoming bilingual in LaLa Land,
Naima

Rev. Naima Lett, D.MIN, ABD
Author of coming release Confessions of a Hollywood Christian

RESPOND ON BLOG
Comment below, or
Facebook or
Twitter – @naimalett